


Falling

by ladykardasi



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: First Time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 17:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10904475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykardasi/pseuds/ladykardasi
Summary: He wanted to reach out and touch Julian. He wanted to pull the man into his embrace and kiss him, make love to him. The doctor stood there before him, undressing as casually as if he had been alone. Eventually, Garak turned towards the wall and tried to will his arousal away.Beta: VastSee, Moriahlin





	Falling

_~ <###>~ FALLING ~<###>~_

_~ <###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ _

_I'm alone, yeah I don't know if I can face the night_  
I'm in tears and the crying that I do is for you.  
I want your love, let's break the walls between us  
Don't make it tough, I'll put away my pride.  
Enough's enough, I've suffered and I've seen the light… 

_Don't know what I'm gonna do about this feeling inside_  
Yes it's true, loneliness took me for a ride  
Without your love, I'm nothing but a beggar  
Without your love, a dog without a bone  
What can I do, I'm sleeping in this bed alone. 

_You're the reason I live, you're the reason I die_  
You're the reason I give, when I break down and cry  
Don't need no reason why. 

_Copyright: Aerosmith, "Angel," 1987_

_~ <###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ ~<###>~~<###>~ _

Garak was going crazy. They had been floating about in space for nearly ten hours. Warp drive and their communications system wasn't operational. 

"How could you check out the Yang Tze Kiang without making sure it was fully functional," Garak hissed irritably. He neglected to mention that the shuttle had been working just fine up until now. For some reason warp drive and communications had just failed. Dr. Bashir turned around and glared at him but Garak simply averted his eyes and ignored the young man's disgruntled facial expression. 

"I did. Miles said there was nothing wrong with the shuttlecraft when we left the docking port. I don't understand what happened."

"Hrmph!" Garak responded and folded his arms over his chest. 

Typical, he thought. Just typical. He was longing to get back to the station, where he could go back to avoiding Julian. This stupid mission in Cardassian space they had been on, was just ludicrous, to say the least. And now the damned shuttlecraft went belly-up. For the millionth time he wished he hadn't volunteered to follow the doctor into Cardassian space. They'd just barely escaped a couple of Jem'Hadar ships and were now heading back to the station. They had gotten what they came for - information on the Dominion ship's construction site. That didn't make Garak feel any better though. 

"Don't be like that. I'm going to go mad if you're going to go sour on me. This mission has been difficult enough as it is!" Julian complained. "It isn't my fault that the shuttle only has impulse power."

"Do you realize that it is going to take us a month to get back to DS9 at this speed?" Garak responded, his voice still irritated and harsh. 

"Of course I know that! But they'll start looking for us before that. We are supposed to be back on the station next week. If we don't show up by then, they're bound to send the Defiant after us!" 

"Unless they believe we failed and have been captured or killed. That means, in quite blunt language, that we will be spending the next week or more together in this shuttlecraft - alone?" 

"I suppose it does. Garak, what's the matter? I thought we were friends. Have I done something to upset you?" Julian asked, his voice now sounding a little less perky and more hurt than anything else, and his eyes boring deep into Garak's. Garak looked away and sighed deeply. 

Yes, Garak thought. You exist. That's enough to upset me, but not the way you think. Guls, how could I have been so stupid as to go with Julian on this dreadful mission? I should have kept my mouth shut and let Odo go with him instead. Odo knows as much about Cardassian space as I do. But I, old fool that I am, saw the opportunity to spend some time alone with Julian. Garak sighed aloud. Besides, I would have worried myself to an early grave, knowing he was out here with no one to protect him. Little did I realize how difficult it would become. 

"No, you have done nothing, Julian," he assured his 'friend'. "Nothing at all. But I am a very private person as you well know, and the prospect of spending a week in this shuttle is a bit, disheartening."

"All right, my insufferable friend, I will try to repair the communications systems and do what I can to contact the station," Julian said curtly and turned away. Garak closed his eyes. He had tried not to hurt Julian, but he realized that he had nonetheless. He rose from his chair at the helm's panel and moved back to the replicator. 

"Are you hungry? Can I replicate you something to eat?" he said by way of apologizing. 

"No thank you, Garak," Julian responded overly polite and Garak sighed again. This was going to be harder than he thought. To be able to keep Julian at a distance, far away enough from him not to show his true feelings, he had to be rude sometimes. But he winced every time he realized that his rudeness actually hurt his friend. 

It's for your own good, my dear, sweet doctor, Garak thought. You don't understand what would happen if I let you too close. You just don't realize… 

He thought back at the last few months. The two of them had been fighting more than he would care to remember, and he knew that a lot of it was his fault. He needed to keep Julian at a distance not to let the young man find out the truth. 

The truth… 

Garak smiled half-heartedly to himself. He and the truth had never been the best of friends. 

~<###>~

Each day that passed was making Julian more and more depressed. Four days had gone by with him and Garak trying to avoid each other in this closed-up space, and the more time that passed, the more distant Garak got. Julian wondered why the Cardassian had even volunteered to help him. At first he had been happy. He had thought that perhaps this would be the chance they needed to find their way back to the comfortable friendship he had treasured so much. The more time he spent with Garak the more he realized that this wasn't going to happen. The Cardassian avoided him as best he could. He tried to sit in the back of the shuttle when Julian was piloting and the other way around. When Garak for some reason couldn't avoid him, he was very quiet or he acted overly polite, as if they'd just met. 

Julian wanted to hurl himself at the Cardassian, to punch him out or to scream at him. He wanted to force him into reacting somehow. The distance, the politeness with which Garak acted was driving him crazy. He wanted to make Garak explain what the hell was going on. He didn't do it for one reason alone and that was the look in those Cardassian eyes. That gaze was so intense sometimes that Julian wondered what would happen if he did something to push his friend over the edge. Despite the politeness, Garak seemed on the brink of snapping. Julian was almost worried that he would hurt him and a tiny jolt of fear shot through his stomach. What was wrong with his friend anyway? He had tried to find out if it was the claustrophobia that was bothering Garak, but the other man had simply shaken his head at that. 

"There's nothing wrong, Julian. Just leave me to myself and I will be fine." Then Garak had risen from his chair at the helm's panel and yet again left Julian to wonder what went wrong between them. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and swallowed hard. He hadn't realized how much it hurt to receive proof that Garak was indeed actively avoiding him, quite apparently no longer interested in being his friend. In fact it seemed like all Garak did nowadays was either fight with him - or he treated him with that distant politeness, which was even worse. Julian had treasured their friendship, but obviously Garak no longer wanted it. 

~<###>~

That damned woman, Garak thought. I am going to kill her when I get back to the station! 

Women, crawling all over Julian as if he was god's gift to them made Garak angry, jealous and irritable. It got even worse when Julian was talking to him about those women. Like just now - totally oblivious he kept rambling on about that young Lieutenant that was throwing herself at him. Garak wanted to break something - anything! He wanted to kill someone, specifically; Lieutenant Yieri. 

"She's very intelligent and she might be assigned to Deep Space Nine," Julian said as they were eating. He was obviously trying to keep the conversation going. The mood inside the shuttlecraft was tense to say the least. The air was so thick, Garak was sure he would have been able to cut it with a knife, had he decided to try. He knew it was his own fault although he had made his best effort to eat with Julian. He had watched his friend grow more and more irritable and suspicious. He had also done what he could to stimulate conversation, and this was the topic they had ended up on. This particular conversation however, was definitely not making things easier on Garak. 

Guls, Julian, you are really trying my patience here, he thought. Don't talk about women, don't talk about love and feelings. Don't talk! Don't look at me! Don't you understand what you are doing to me when you smile like that? Those hazel brown eyes sparkle with zest for life and they make me want you so much, and you are not even aware of it, are you? 

Julian was sitting across the table from him, fidgeting with a small padd he had been working on before they decided to get something to eat together. His appearance was slightly less neat than usual. His hair was a little too long, his chin full of bristles and the uniform was open in a way that Starfleet wouldn't have appreciated. Julian's slightly disheveled appearance and his nervousness made Garak feel really strange. He wanted to reach out and calm Julian, to tell him that everything was going to be fine. He wanted to tell the young man that he still cared and that they were still friends. But he knew he couldn't do that. Letting his guard down right now was the most stupid thing he could do. 

"…I asked her out for dinner last week and she accepted. Now I don't know if I will be back in time." Julian concluded. 

Yes, Garak thought. I will definitely have to kill that young Lieutenant.

"How intriguing," he said somberly. "I am sure she will be heartbroken if you don't get back in time to woo her." 

"You are such a tease, Garak. You always make fun of me when I talk about women. What's the matter with you? Why don't you ask one out yourself? Sometimes I get the feeling that you are simply jealous!"

Garak tried very hard not to wince at the words. He tried very hard not to show any sign of how close to the truth that was, and he suspected he succeeded because Julian simply kept chattering away. 

Ah, the Obsidian Order training was good for something after all, Garak thought gloomily and swallowed another sip of his red leaf tea. 

~<###>~

Garak averted his gaze and with painful self-control he managed to suppress the hiss that almost made its way out of his throat. The spike of arousal that shot through his body made him lose breath for a moment. It had come so sudden and unexpected. Up until now he and Julian had shared the sleeping area on the few occasions they had been able to rest at the same time. At those times however, his friend had always turned out the lights before undressing, as if he was shy or simply didn't think about it. Garak had been lying there, listening to Julian undress. That alone had been causing him enough suffering, but this…

Julian, you insane young man. Don't do this! 

The object of Garak's sudden desire was standing before him merely a few feet away, peeling his clothes off, completely unselfconscious as he talked. 

"We're inside Federation space so I don't think we have to worry about Dominion forces, but I have set the detection grids on continuous long range just in case. The communications system is down because one of the couplings has fried and melted down one of the conduits to the warp core. We need to replace it and I don't have the necessary equipment to fix it…"

Garak stopped listening to Julian and allowed himself to steal a glimpse of the man he desired so much. The young man's chest was smoother than Garak could have imagined. It reminded him of the sands of the Cardassian deserts. Soft and golden… 

Garak had studied and knew quite a lot about human physiology. Why? - To satisfy his curiosity and his craving to know more about Julian. He knew that some humans had more body hair than the young doctor, but for some reason he had always imagined Julian as one of those who didn't have so much body hair. He felt a sudden twinge of joy at the fact that his imaginations had turned out to be true. He feasted his eyes on the taut muscles and the flawless, beautiful skin. Watching that sinewy body as Julian undressed was slowly but steadily driving him out of his mind, but he couldn't make himself stop looking. 

He wanted to reach out and touch Julian. He wanted to pull the man into his embrace and kiss him, make love to him. The doctor stood there before him, undressing as casually as if he had been alone. Eventually, Garak turned towards the wall and tried to will his arousal away. He tried to breathe steadily, wishing that all the signs of his excitement would go away. If Julian listened too carefully or simply looked at him now he would know, despite the scarce lighting. 

Guls, let us be back on the station soon, Garak prayed as his hands moved down on his body, wishing he could release some of the tension, but he knew that would be insane. He jerked violently as he brushed his fingers across his aching hardness and withdrew his hand immediately. If he did something like that, it was something the other man would surely hear, and Garak had no intention of letting his young human friend listen to him caressing himself. On the other hand that image in his mind made the arousal grow even stronger and Garak moaned softly. He closed his eyes with another silent plea. 

Give me strength… 

~<###>~

"We could land the shuttle here, Garak. Just for a couple of hours. That would make no difference at all to our schedule and you might feel better."

"Whatever you say, Doctor." Garak responded with a deep sigh. 

"All right, then I'll just land here!" Julian said decidedly and maneuvered the craft down between the clouds. 

They had been moving towards DS9 for almost a week now and Garak was definitely on the brink of losing it. Julian's display last night had nearly driven him insane and the young doctor wasn't even realizing it. Garak hated to admit it, but the idea of landing the shuttle on the uninhabited planet and stay there for a few hours was a big relief to him. He needed to get away from Julian, for just a little while or he didn't know what he would do. 

Oh, dear old Elim. You know exactly what you'll do and that's what scares you… 

~<###>~

It had finally dawned on Julian what was bothering Garak and he couldn't be happier. For years they had been friends, and he had contemplated a relationship at some point or another. The attraction he felt for the mysterious Cardassian had scared him at first, but as he got to know him more, the thought excited and thrilled him. He had even gone through a time of terrible infatuation when he had been so nervous around Garak that it was embarrassing. Finally the feelings had matured and he had fallen in love, but he had succumbed to the realization that Garak probably wasn't interested in him that way. The flirtatious glances and fresh language were simply parts of Garak's personality. That was just the way he was. In fact, most Cardassians seemed to enjoy flirting with just about anyone without really meaning much. It was like they got off on teasing people. 

But last evening Julian had finally asked himself if he might be wrong. He had caught Garak glancing at him several times when he thought he wasn't looking. It had finally dawned on him what kinds of feelings lay behind those intense glares Garak shot at him. Realizing this, he took the first opportunity that presented itself to try his theory. Garak's reaction last night had spoken volumes. Julian had found out more by undressing before the man than he would have if he had simply asked right out.

The flush on Garak's face, the swollen neck-ridges and the involuntary gasp he couldn't quite suppress and the way that Garak had stared at him as if he couldn't stop, was quite good evidence. Julian would never have heard that soft hiss Garak tried to suppress as he turned towards the wall, unless he'd been listening for it. 

Julian had been quite surprised at his own reaction to Garak's involuntary response. He had been forced to crawl into his bed quickly before he would reveal his own arousal. He didn't want the Cardassian to find out right away. He needed just a few moments to think, and he had been lying awake for hours. His thoughts had led him to a conclusion that was a little surprising. He realized why he hadn't been interested in women for so long. Now he knew why those relationships always died out into nothing. The simple reason was that he had already given his heart away… 

I thought I'd gotten over this crush I had, he thought. It appears I haven't and maybe, just maybe it is reciprocated?

Oh, Garak, so many wasted years!

Satisfied now that he knew about it, he could do something about it, Julian had fallen into a dreamless sleep. 

~<###>~

It was too much. Even he had to admit defeat some time, Garak realized and sent a grateful thought to Julian's caring personality and for once he was glad he suffered from claustrophobia. It meant that he could blame his strange behavior on that and when the shuttle finally landed on the M-class planet, the relief must have shown on his face because Julian smiled at him and said: 

"Don't stray too far!" 

He didn't. He simply left Julian behind him and sauntered off among the trees until he reached a glade. He reveled at the feel of the soft moldering leaves on the ground underneath his shoes. It made his movements totally silent and it felt like walking on clouds. He enjoyed the feeling of the crisp air filling his lungs and relief washed over him at not feeling the closed confinement of the shuttlecraft. 

He looked around, the trees were huge, their trunks so thick he doubted two of him could reach around them and they were probably older than Mila's copy of "The Never Ending Sacrifice". 

The treetops constructed a roof far above him, hardly letting any light sift through the leaves. The light that did reach down to where he was walking was slightly greenish and lent a mellow air to the surroundings. Garak inhaled deeply and felt the tensions just whither away. Now, perhaps he would be able to stand sharing the shuttlecraft with Julian until the crew on Deep Space Nine noticed their absence and came to look for them. If he was lucky. 

Garak closed his eyes and gracefully sat down underneath one of the trees. He stretched one of his legs and rested his arm on the other one, feeling more relaxed now than he had for a long time. The ground was soft and dry to sit on and he couldn't think of one place he'd rather be right now. 

~<###>~ 

Garak realized he must have fallen asleep because when he woke the sun of this planet was shining in his face, its rays sending warmth through his body. It felt so good. Despite the fact that he was sitting in the middle of ancient trees shadowing him from the rays of the sun, the temperature was warm and comfortable even for him. He sighed contentedly once more and rose to his feet. He took off his tunic and yawned, feeling utterly relaxed and in a better mood than he had for days, weeks even. He hung the garment over his arm and started moving towards the shuttlecraft. Walking slowly, he watched the trees and the plant life surrounding him. Guls, he felt like he was on Risa or enjoying one of Quark's more luxurious holosuite programs. He stared at the treetops again and marveled at their lush green. The color was so bright it almost seemed transparent. 

That's when he bumped into Julian. The young human must have moved very silently. Garak couldn't believe it. Where was that Obsidian Order training now? Fighting to keep his balance he grabbed Julian's arms, only making things worse and they both crashed down on the ground with a thud. Garak on his back and Julian sprawled on top of him. The sinewy body of his young human friend was pressed against him in a way he never thought it would be. Garak came back to himself, feeling an overwhelming jolt of arousal. 

"Uhn!" Garak groaned as he fell to the ground, with Julian more or less in his arms. 

"Watch where you're going!" Julian said with laughter in his voice. Garak saw the humor in his friend's eyes, the humor that suddenly changed to something else. Garak started to push at Julian, ashamed of his own reaction. His arousal was showing itself in a very tangible way and he wanted to kick himself. To his dismay, Julian refused to let him push him away. The strong hands grabbed a firm hold of his shoulders and involuntarily his fingers dug into the neck-ridges, causing Garak to moan softly. 

He found himself forced to look into Julian's hazel brown eyes, seeing a question there. It was as if the moment froze in time. They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. Questions were issued, and answers were given, without uttering a word. The shame gave away to another sensation - hope. 

"Julian?" Garak whispered quizzically. 

"Yes, Garak," came the breathless answer and Garak swallowed hard when he felt the distinct pressure against his groin. The pressure of another man's erection. 

"Julian, are you…"

"Yes, Garak," Julian repeated, and Garak felt the young man's hands move from his shoulders into his hair. It was a caress that sent shivers down Garak's spine and he drew an unsteady breath as Julian moved his head down for a - kiss? Garak couldn't take his eyes of Julian's full lips, expectantly opening. Garak had forgotten where they were and his whole world had narrowed to that full, red, human mouth and the weight of Julian's body on his. Those wonderful lips he had craved to kiss for longer than he'd care to remember. The feeling of desire was so strong. He had fought it far too long and the only thing Garak could do was respond enthusiastically when Julian's lips pressed against his. Their first kiss was exquisite, but urgent.

~<###>~

Julian had been walking through the woods, looking for Garak. His Cardassian friend had been away for quite some time and he was beginning to worry. So he strayed along the path he had seen his friend take. He was hoping to find Garak in a better mood, a mood where he could approach the Cardassian with his newfound feelings. 

However, he had been taken aback by the beauty of the trees surrounding him. They created a beautiful place, their leaves coming together like a green, lush roof overhead. Julian was struck with awe. He felt the same way as he had when he first visited St. Patrick's cathedral back on earth when he was a little boy. That was when he realized that this was exactly what the trees reminded him of, a holy place - a cathedral. He had kept walking without watching his step. Next thing he knew he had fallen and found himself on the ground, with Garak's sturdy body under his. 

He had heard his friend's gasp, seen the jolt of feelings in those royal blue eyes and felt the quick response in the tailor's body. When Garak averted his eyes and tried to push him away, Julian would have none of it. He refused to let go. 

Oh no, Garak, he thought. This is it. Finally we've come this far and I am not about to let you go.... 

And so, without hesitation he looked into those blue eyes, forcing Garak to meet his gaze and the emotions flooding toward him made his own flare to the surface. He hardly heard the question in Garak's voice. He simply responded in a daze, then he moved his head down to the tailor's and dug his hands into the silken strands of Garak's hair and kissed him. 

Garak's breath was hot and spicy, the man's torso pressed against his and Julian could feel the unmistakable hardness of Garak's erection press into his own, fueling his arousal further. Julian couldn't stop himself from moaning softly. He moved his hands from Garak's hair down to his neck and Garak hissed. For the first time Julian realized that Garak was naked from the waist down. Curiously he let his hands travel down the Cardassian's chest, scratching softly along the ridges and scales. His hands were exploring, grateful for the chance to finally touch the alien skin of his friend. Garak's body was several degrees warmer than his, and the scales were infinitely softer than he would have imagined. 

"Julian," Garak hissed. "Julian, do you know what you are doing? Do you really, truly want this?"

Garak's voice was strained like he was uttering words he didn't want to say. Julian realized how much his friend wanted what was happening, but that Garak was determined not to force him into something he didn't want or was ready for. 

In response he simply tightened his hold around Garak's waist and moved his hands upward to the swollen ridges on Garak's neck. 

"I want this Garak, you don't know how long I have wanted this…" 

Then he moved his head down and pulled Garak towards him to kiss him once more. Now that Garak had gotten permission it felt like those strong hands were all over his body. Julian couldn't suppress a groan of pleasure as the older man touched him everywhere. Garak caressed him on places he didn't even know were erogenous zones. It was as if Garak knew even better than himself what would please him. The touches sent shivers through his body he hadn't known before, and soon he was writhing against the Cardassian in abandon. Their bodies rubbed together and Julian did not protest when Garak opened his uniform to caress him. 

I can't believe this is finally happening, Julian thought dreamily. Finally Garak was touching him, and he hadn't realized how much he'd longed for it until now. Watching Garak's grayish fingers roam over his body felt so right. 

"You have such beautiful skin, Julian. I've wanted to touch this smooth, golden skin for so long," Garak murmured. 

"Garak, oh Garak, I wish you had… Why didn't you ever tell me… oh!" Julian lost all coherent thought as Garak pulled him down to kiss and lick his shoulders and his neck, sending exquisite pleasure through his whole being. The hot, wet tongue knew exactly what it was doing to him. 

Garak didn't respond, instead he moved his hands to push away the garment and soon Julian was naked, exposed to Garak's fiery eyes. Even a simple look from those impossibly blue eyes was sending shivers down Julian's spine. He realized that Garak's eyes reminded him of the wormhole, sparkling in colors of blue and violet; passionate, flaring with emotions at the most unexpected moments. Julian closed his eyes to enjoy the feelings his lover was causing inside him and he remembered that this was what he had wanted since he first laid eyes on the Cardassian. How many times had he dreamt about this? Those strong hands brought pleasure that nobody else had been able to provoke inside him. He didn't even remember where he was. He didn't feel the soft grass and fallen leaves underneath his body as Garak moved him onto his back. He didn't feel the warm rays from the sun playing over his skin and he didn't feel the warm breeze wandering through the dark curls of his hair. All he could feel was Garak's hands and mouth and body bringing him joy.

~<###>~

But Garak saw all this. He saw the beautifully shaped body of his beloved Julian sprawled on the soft grass. He watched as the sun's golden rays lent their color to Julian's already glowing skin. Garak watched the smooth face of his lover as Julian surrendered himself to the passion he - Garak - was causing and his chest tightened at the view. He swallowed hard and blinked away the moisture that rose in his eyes. He had never hoped to see Julian like this, writhing underneath him, enjoying his touch, even craving his caresses. 

The urgency of his passion hadn't dissipated, but with his last bit of constraint he managed to will himself not to throw himself at Julian and take him right then and there. He did not want to scare this lovely creature, he did not want to force him. Garak wanted this moment to last forever. He had never felt anything quite like this before. Never felt his chest tighten at another's beauty, never felt this overwhelming need to protect and care for, never felt this need to make something last. Was this what people called love? He didn't know what this feeling was. He had never felt anything like this for anyone - except maybe for Mila. 

Did he actually love Julian, was that it? The realization that dawned on him made him feel frightened and humbled at the same time. 

"Garak?" Those hazel eyes opened to look at him. Garak couldn't do anything but smile when he saw passion flashing across Julian's beautiful features. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, Julian, I am perfectly fine. In fact, I have never felt better."

~<###>~

Julian swallowed hard when he saw the raw emotion in Garak's eyes. For the first time ever he realized that Garak had let down the walls he always surrounded himself with. He wasn't sure his friend was even aware of it, which in itself was a rare occurrence. He held Garak's gaze steadily and made sure that the other man knew he felt the same, then again he pulled Garak toward him and kissed him. The Cardassian's lips were softer and more tender than he would have expected them to be - at first, but as they kept kissing, the desire grew inside Julian. He moaned softly when Garak thrust his tongue inside his mouth and the kiss grew more intense. He pushed Garak away from him and smiled when he saw the Cardassian's startled look at him. Without hesitation he pushed Garak down on his back and straddled the other man's thighs and caressed his torso. 

"I want to see you," he whispered softly. "I want to see what you look like."

Garak simply nodded and relaxed underneath him. Julian smiled wickedly and moved up an inch or so to straddle Garak's erection and the Cardassian tensed up again, this time in pure pleasure. Julian, who was completely naked, rubbed himself over Garak's groin and he smiled when he saw the look of complete abandon on Garak's face as he threw his head back and gasped. Garak's breathing was shallow and he rocked his hips against Julian in an encouraging movement. 

"If you want to see me you better look closely and fast," he groaned, "… because I don't know how long I am going to be able to stay like this." 

Garak opened his eyes and Julian leaned forward and whispered into Garak's ear: 

"Tell me what you like Elim."

Garak hissed. 

"Tell me what you want me to do," he said as he moved his hands across the surprisingly soft skin of Garak's muscular stomach and chest. 

"You're doing just fine," Garak grunted. 

"Come on, Elim… talk to me. You're always so eloquent, tell me what you want me to do. Where do you like to be touched, do you have any erogenous zones I am not aware of? You seem to know mine so well… reveal some of your secrets to me," Julian whispered huskily. 

Garak didn't respond. Julian could see him swallow violently and then he grabbed Julian's wrists and moved his hands up to his neck ridges, which were now rapidly changing into a fascinating color. The sunlight told Julian that they had indeed transformed from a smoky gray to a color bordering on black. 

"Touch me there…" Garak pleaded. "Right there…"

Julian moved his hands over the swollen areas of flesh and was surprised at the feeling of the ridges in his hands. They were warm, slightly damp and very pliant. He brushed his fingertips along the scales and Garak moaned. 

"Oh yessss… " 

Julian pressed a little harder and started kneading at the ridges, as if he were giving Garak a massage and a jolt of arousal shot through him when he saw the way it affected Garak. The Cardassian threw his head back and bit his lip not to scream aloud. The grip around Julian's waist was so firm it almost hurt, and the Cardassian ground his hips against his groin in almost frenzied movements. Absently Julian wondered if he was going to get bruised, but it didn't bother him much. Instead he leaned forward and started kissing and nibbling his way from the soft cartilage on Garak's chin to the neck. 

"How about this?" he whispered into Garak's ear before beginning to lick the scales on Garak's neck. The taste was unfamiliar but nice. Julian couldn't really put his finger on it but it reminded him of something. He shoved the thought away and continued licking his way down the ridge, nearing Garak's shoulder. Garak was surprisingly quiet and Julian lifted his head to watch Garak, wondering if he was doing something wrong, but then he saw the look in Garak's eyes. They were black with desire.

"Julian…" 

He nodded and grabbed Garak's wrists to push away his hands, then he scooted down along Garak's body until he was straddling his thighs. With nimble fingers he opened the Cardassian's pants and pulled them down. Garak gasped as his erection was freed from the constraints and Julian smiled as he rose to his feet and pulled the garment completely off Garak. He watched the man lying on the ground. Garak was broader and stockier built than himself, but not an ounce of extra fat could be seen anywhere on the compact body. Garak's skin was gray, but nobody could say that the color was dull in any way.

He was beautiful, Julian thought. Garak's skin shifted in nuances from light silvery gray on his thighs and stomach, to darker shades along the sides and the chest, to almost black on his neck-ridges and around his groin. His fully erect member looked like an object sculpted from ebony. 

"Julian…." Garak pleaded and was about to sit, but Julian pressed his hand against Garak's stomach in a silent plea for him to stay where he was. 

"I just want to look at you."

"You can look at me all you want - later… Now, please don't torture me like this!" 

Julian took pity on his lover and placed his hands in a firm grip on the other man's thighs moving slowly upwards to touch him.

~<###>~

Garak felt like he was caught in a roiling cloud of emotions. He wanted to throw himself at Julian, seeking a release from the tension that had been building inside him for days, months - years, but he forced himself to lie still. He forced himself to let Julian take the lead, this time. He did not wish to frighten his friend, and he had no idea how much of his passion the young man could really handle. 

What if he would hurt Julian if he gave in to his desire? Was Julian as fragile as he seemed, despite those famous enhancements? He couldn't live with that, so he forced himself to lie motionless, waiting, something he had never done before in his life. Never having let anyone else take the lead and set the pace, Garak found that there was pleasure in yielding to someone else, if that someone else was a person you cared about. And he cared about this man, so much…

Julian kissed him, licked his neck-ridges, touched him like a child exploring a new toy, like playing with fire or a knife, totally unaware of the darkness and danger that lay within. And with each kiss, each lick and each touch Garak's arousal grew to the point where he didn't know if he could take it anymore. 

"Julian…"

He hated the begging tone in his voice, but it was all he could do to keep himself from pulling Julian into his arms and taking him, without even knowing if Julian had ever made love to a man before, without knowing if he would hurt him or not… 

Then, finally Julian moved down and took him into his mouth and Garak couldn't stop the sound that came from his mouth. Suddenly all of his being was concentrated between his thighs, concentrated on those warm, moist lips enveloping him, moving up and down on him so slowly he thought he was going to go mad. He felt himself grow even harder. He didn't think that was possible. 

"Julian!" he cried as the release was building inside him. When had he last felt like this? Had he ever felt like this, Garak asked himself dizzily. As if walking up a flight of stairs, the excitement grew more and more for each step until at last he hurled into the void. At last he was thrown into the swirling vortex of pleasure as the release took hold of him. 

"Elim," Julian whispered as Garak finally managed to look at his lover. Julian's eyes were so dark they seemed like two black wells filled with passion and desire. "Now you have to touch me… please touch me, or I will go insane."

Garak swallowed and gently pushed Julian down on his back. The desire in the young human was quite obviously far too strong for any teasing or foreplay. Garak simply moved down over his lover's body and put his hand around Julian's shaft, stroking it gently. 

"Oh, Elim!" Julian sobbed and Garak caressed him a little firmer

As the younger man's reactions grew in intensity, Garak leaned forward to close his lips around the slender erection. He shut his eyes and allowed himself to fully enjoy the sensation of having Julian in his mouth. He enjoyed the smoothness of the skin, the hardness and the feeling of vibrant life in the flesh. He licked and sucked gently at first, then applied more pressure as Julian's passion intensified. Soon Garak could feel the telltale contractions and he opened his eyes and moved his head away. He replaced his mouth with his hand to allow himself to watch his lover's face as the feelings took hold of him. Julian's head was thrown back in abandon, his mouth slightly open and he was moaning aloud. 

Garak kept caressing his lover even a few moments after the fluid spill over his hands and slowly Julian relaxed beneath him. Finally the young man opened his eyes to look at Garak. There was love in those brown eyes and Garak knew his face mirrored those feelings. He did not try to suppress it. 

He sat and pulled Julian into his arms and they kissed. Garak was surprised to find that he was still hard and he realized that the desire inside him hadn't lessened that much. He understood that he wouldn't be satisfied until he had been allowed to make love to Julian properly. He had wanted this for too long. It wouldn't just go away. 

"I want you Elim," Julian whispered, and Garak pulled back to watch him intently. There was no fear and no hesitation in those dark eyes. There was only passion and desire, matching his own in intensity. 

"I don't want to hurt you, Julian," Garak whispered. "We have to go back to the shuttlecraft."

"Why?" he asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

"You really wouldn't want me inside you without some… help, would you now?" 

"Oh, that!" Julian said and laughed. Then he moved out of Garak's embrace and went through the pockets of his uniform. Triumphantly he held up a small tube of lubrication. 

"You little animal!" Garak said and laughed spontaneously. 

~<###>~

Moments later Garak's eyes narrowed to slits as he looked at Julian as the realization obviously dawned on him. 

"You came here with the intention to seduce me?" 

Julian nodded and grinned widely. 

"How did you know?" Garak said. "How did you know I wanted you? How long have you known?" 

Julian knew Garak well enough to understand that it disturbed him that Julian had figured it out, so he simply leaned forward to caress him. 

"Not long. Since yesterday night."

Garak closed his eyes. 

"I had a feeling I was being rather obvious."

"Not really, not to anyone who doesn't know you as well as I do. Not to anyone who doesn't care about you as much as I do. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I didn't think… I never realized. Guls, I've been really blind, haven't I?" Garak mocked himself. "I, the Obsidian Order agent, so sure of myself and my abilities and I never saw how you felt. I was too preoccupied with trying to hide my own feelings from you. I was so sure you would never feel the same way."

"Well I do… " Julian said, "… and right now I don't want to talk about this. I want you to make love to me," he continued huskily as he opened the small tube and poured a healthy amount of lubrication into his hand. 

~<###>~

Garak lost all ability to think coherently when Julian wrapped him in his slender hands and coated him with lubrication. 

"It seems to me like you're ready for it," he teased. 

"Oh, I've been ready for far too long."

"So let's not waste any more time then, Elim. Make love to me." Julian didn't hesitate, he simply lay on his back, pulling Garak with him.

"Make love to me," Julian whispered yet again and Garak moved between Julian's legs, stroking himself, coating his fingers with lubrication. Then he slowly let one of his digits enter Julian, stretching him carefully. 

"It's all right Garak, I'm ready for you, don't worry," Julian said urgently. "I want you Garak, I need you inside me!"

Those words from that inviting mouth could have made Garak lose it if he wasn't so intent on not causing Julian any pain. He carefully moved into position, pressing slowly, gently inside, one inch at a time. Julian gasped, but didn't tense up. 

~<###>~

"Am I hurting you?" Garak asked. Julian could hear the concern in his voice. 

"No, Elim. Not at all, it feels good. So good." To emphasize his words he pushed forward against Garak to make him move. Finally Garak pressed all the way in and he was filled to the hilt. Garak was there with him, filling him, making him feel complete. Nothing could ever feel so good. All other lovers completely vanished from Julian's memory as he felt like he was finally where he belonged. Garak thrust carefully at first, but as his enthusiasm became apparent Garak pushed more eagerly into him, his shaft moving in and out in swift motions.

Garak moaned and thrust harder. Julian grabbed the Cardassian's muscular arms to have something to hold onto so he could meet the thrusts, to urge Garak on. He enjoyed hearing the sounds of pleasure as the older man finally lost control. They sent spirals of desire through Julian. Knowing that Garak wanted him so much, trusted him enough to let him see him like that only fired his own arousal. Garak inside him wasn't enough, he needed something more, so he looked up at Garak, who was leaning over him. His eyes were black with passion. 

"Touch yourself for me, Julian," Garak whispered hoarsely, his voice almost unrecognizable. 

Julian moved his hand down and wrapped it around his shaft. He hardly needed to touch himself before coming and Garak followed only moments later. Julian gasped for breath and watched as Garak came back to himself. Eventually the Cardassian relaxed and pulled him into his lap as he slowly slid out of him. 

"Julian… Julian…" he whispered. 

Julian turned around to pull Garak closer and they kissed. This time the kiss was soft and loving, the kind of kiss shared by two satiated lovers. Julian was still shocked to find how tender and sweet Garak's kisses could be. He couldn't wait to discover more sides to his enigmatic friend's personality. Sides that he would only show to someone he loved, and Julian was quite sure that Garak did love him. Those blue eyes may be masters at lying and hiding the truth, but at this moment they weren't hiding anything and they were filled with tenderness. 

~ End ~


End file.
